Me First

Day 29 reading assignment:
Exodus 8:1-9:35
Matt 19:13-30
Psalm 24:1-10
Proverbs 6:1-5

I am not an athlete.  I was not the first or second person chosen for team sports in elementary school.  I wasn't even in the top 10.  I was never a loner, I had friends, but when it came time to choose up sides they didn't want me.  I'm afraid of the ball, I throw like a girl (a non athletic girl)  and I'm incredibly uncoordinated.   I fall UP the stairs in my house almost weekly.  That's no small feat.  I also fall off my shoes if they're tall.  I played softball on a coed league about nineteen years ago. It was not my choice, they were desperate for one more player and they promised to give me a lot of bench time.  They lied.  I spent the season outfield of course.  I never know which outfield is which.  Is it right-field if you are standing at home facing the field on your right?  Or is it left field because you are out there behind first base facing "home" and that puts you on the left?  Yes, I am no athlete.  Whatever.  I was in that outfield behind first base.  It was a night game.  And everytime a new batter was up I would pray quietly but aloud: "Dear God PLEASE don't let them hit it to me."  It never takes the opposing team long to discover where the weak link on the team is.  I needed no neon arrow pointing me out,  I stuck out just fine by my own merit.  They would send the balls right to me everytime.  And everytime I would miss the fly balls, fumble the grounders, or attempt a throw to third when the play was at first.  I wanted to cry.  I changed my prayer at some point that night to: "Please God let me shine, just one time."   My brother and all his cop friends were on this team.  I knew he was thinking, "she wasn't kidding when she said she stunk."  I had my fill of humiliation and made up my mind to "cowboy up."  The batter was in the box.  I new he was hitting to me.  He had been all night.  The bat made contact with the ball and it was as if time was standing still.  I felt courageous.  This was to be my moment.  I positioned the glove in front of my face, took a breath, and closed my eyes.  I opened my eyes moved my glove so I could see and wham!  Actually it was a dull thud but I don't know how to spell that.  I caught the ball....with my mouth.  I dropped to my knees from the pain and now I prayed: "Please God don't let me cry, my brother will be so embarrassed."  I shined all right.  They called time-out.  Everybody was running to see if I still had a pulse.  I looked like a platypus for almost two weeks.  I no longer pray for God to let me shine.

But how good would it feel to come in first?
The only time I stand out in a crowd is when I humiliate myself.  Like the time I went to the movies on the opening night of "Laura Croft: Tomb Raider".   Back when Angelina pledged her life-blood to her soulmate, Billie Bob Thornton.  Friday night, the theater was packed.  It was summer because I was wearing flip flops.  I remember this because it was the flip-flops that made it possible, as I was climbing up the stairs to sit with a friend, to fall flat on my face, spilling pop-corn in the lap of some poor guy who didn't know what to do with, or for me.  There I lay in the aisle, pop-corn everywhere, in a packed house BEFORE the lights were turned down.  "Are you okay?" the man asked genuinely concerned.  If I had my wits about me I would have lied; "I have a siezure disorder."  But instead I avoided his eyes and clamored on up the steps to my friend.  When I was safe in my seat beside her, she looked straight ahead and said,"I would have come to help you but I didn't want anybody to know I was with you."  I guess He figures I need more lessons in humility than to be first at anything.

Today as I was driving home, a car passed me with the license plate that read: Me 1st.  I was in a snotty mood and I said out loud to no one, "Yeah right pal, right after me."  Then of course I realized I was behind him.
I wanted to use that license plate in my blog later, but I intended to try to make it work into something about our self-centered culture.  When I was finally able to get to the reading tonight, I had to laugh at Matthew 19:30.  It is talking about life in eternity: But in the life to come, the first will be last and the last will be first.  HA!   That so works for me.