A Work in Progress

Day 7 reading assignment:
Gen 16:1-18:15
Matt 6:1-24
Psalm 7:1-17
Proverbs 2:1-5

I don't go to church.  Uh oh what's that I hear?  Is that the sound of judgement?  Well bring it on baby.  But first I should explain.  Church attendance for me is sporatic at best.  I have had a church home, but right now I am a church hopper.....on the Sunday mornings I feel like hopping.  I'm like that boyfriend you date for 9 years, I just can't commit.  Church is a giant distraction.  I sit there determined to come away enlightened, but I'm doomed from the start.  The soloist on the worship team hits a note that hurts my ears, this is disturbing to me but I notice she's wearing really cute shoes.  There's a man with a tuberculosis sounding cough sitting close enough that I'm sure I felt his spittle hit the back of my arm...can I wipe it off, would that be rude?.....I wonder where she got those shoes.  What a cute baby.  I'm just going to ask her where she got the shoes, I think I saw them on the internet in a lovely shade of red.  I love that lady's haircut....those can't be her real boobs, how can she  afford...FOCUS!  I sit there summing up everyone around me only to come to the conclusion that everybody in this room is a better christian than I.  I have always struggled with the tags that go with being a christian.  I don't want to be a Catholic, Baptist, Presbyterian or whatever.  I, as a bonafide church hopper, have attended nearly every denomination out there and have been satisfied with many of the experiences but  I don't want to be defined by the church I attend, nor do I ever want to become "religious".  I want to be spiritual.  I am a christian.  I believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God and my saviour.  I want to live my life according to what God and only God says is right, paying attention to how He, and only He will judge me. But the truth is: everybody out there is a better christian than I.  I can't quote scripture.  Oh I can say 'the bible says...,' but I can't tell you where it says it, my scripture memorization is null and void.  On any given day a person could drop by our home and maybe go away murmuring, 'she calls herself a christian?'  I hope not but its certainly possible.  What does a christian look like?  Our youngest son, a tattooed, pierced, bearded, motorcycle guy who loves dark beer and can talk like a sailor with the best of them, is a christian.  Open the doors to any church on any day of the week and you will find many things.  The family who can recite the bible backwards and forwards and live their lives accordingly.  The guy on the street holding the sign asking for help.  The addict in the halfway house.  The successful business woman.  Some people are better reflections of what God calls our lives to be than others.  And some, like the Pharisees, can follow the 'laws' to the letter and have cold and shallow hearts.  The bottom line is God calls us to fellowship with other believers.  Is it enough that I come together with 2 other believers (my daughter Abbie and my dear friend Jane) weekly, and attend our own private bible studies?   I meet with two sisters-in-law and pray for our children does that count?  I'm not sure.  What if I don't like the music at a particular church, or the drone of the pastor's voice puts me to sleep?  What if I would rather work in my garden, isn't the garden a place I can have my own private prayer time?  Nice try.  I don't think it's about my comfort or my entertainment. It's about obedience.  My second daughter, Lindsay, told me once,  "I don't go to church to find God, I go to be obedient to Him"  Ouchie.  Obedience isn't my strong suit.  Rebelliousness is.

In Genesis, God told Abraham to do as He said and he would be blessed with a son.  Abraham had a little giggle over this because he was about a hundred, seriously he was 99 when God said this.  His wife, Sarah, had a moment of doubt herself because she was waaaay beyond the age of consent, so to speak, and what baffled me was her joy at the news...please bless me God, but pleeezze not with a post- menopausal pregnancy.  Holy moly.  And right there is the difference between obedient people and...me.   And ponder if you will, just exactly what God told Abraham to do.  Genesis 17:10 (NLT)-  'This is the covenant that you and your descendents must keep:  Each male among you must be circumsized.'  Now that's obedience.

  Tomorrow is Sunday.  I will try it again.  As the famous Dr. Frasier Crane would say:  "I'm listening."