Do What You Dread

If procrastination were a profession I would be the CEO.  I put off doing even non-dreadful things so if it is dreadful it isn't going to happen until I am forced.  I remember a day many years ago when my refrigerator went on the blink.  I answered a knock at the door to find a man in a suit with a face that looked as if all personality had been surgically removed.  I was thinking, 'he probably seems so unfriendly because he hates his job, poor thing.'  So I greeted him with a warm smile and said, "Wow you really dressed up just to fix my fridge!"
  At that and without as much as a twinkle in his eye, he flashed a badge at me.  "Joe Blow, Department of Revenue."  My knees went weak several seconds before my brain could completely process what was happening. I flashed on the files of quarterly taxes that I had shoved to the bottom desk drawer.  We didn't have the money to pay them and I did not want to bother my hubby with it-he was stressed out enough.
I was picturing in my mind how it would look when my 5 little kids watched the bad man cuff mommy and haul her off to unpaid quarterly prison when I became hysterical.  I'm sure the poor man was wishing he could call for "back-up" to get someone to calm this crazy loon down.
"I'm not a tax evader, I promise!"  I wailed.  "I'm just an idiot!"
The man must have believed that I was indeed just an idiot and guided me through the process of getting caught up. From this experience I learned the important lesson of: "Don't mess with the tax man." Did I learn to not procrastinate?  Not so much.

I'm not sure if procrastination and seeing squirrels are the same... but when that wiley squirrel shows up, I drop what I'm doing  and move to the next distraction (aka:squirrel) until I realize now, at the age of 54, I've never finished ANYTHING!

Yesterday was September 1st. A good day to start something, I decided.   I was hit with a jolt while brushing my teeth.  I went to the kitchen with a foamy mouth and slurred speech to announce to my family this epiphany.
"Ah gah it!"
"What?" They ask in unison.
"Ah gah it!" Holding my index finger in the air summoning them to wait, I walked to the kitchen sink and spit."I've got it!" I repeat.  "I'm going to read the bible in one year and blog it.  I've attempted to do this for about 5 years now so a blog will hold me accountable."
My family is unwavering in their support and encouragement of each and every (unfinished) wild hair I embark on.  They cheered me on,  my biggest fans,  never revealing the slightest hint of the major doubts I am sure were rolling around in their minds.
What happened next?  I saw squirrels all day.  One distraction after another.  I kept telling myself I would get to it.  Later.  Instead I fell exhausted in to bed, discouraged and full of self-loathing at my immediate failure.  Honestly I thought I would get to at least day 3 or 4 before I quit.

But today is a new day!  So what if it's Day 2 of September, it's Day 1 of my quest.  Squirrels be damned!  I've got some reading to do................