Gen 23;1-24:51
Matt 8:1-17
Psalm 9:13-20
Proverbs 3:1-6
I was reading a book recently on writing. The author talked about the importance of writing practice and compared it to a compost pile. The practice of writing wasn't supposed to produce anything of value but persevering through this process would.
I get a little self-conscious about this blogging. I resisted it earlier because while researching the idea I came across articles about the self-centeredness of the concept. It seems, many times, like nothing more than a public journal. I record my thoughts and opinions and click a button and send it out into cyber-space for anyone to read. It is impossible to limit the use of "I" and "me" in these writings since all I have to go on are the thoughts and opinions of "I" and "me". It's like Facebook where a person can write an update on their status everytime they scratch. But I like to write and this serves as a venue. I am a dedicated under achiever and this works. What keeps me from writing, more than criticism, is the fear that I have nothing valuable to say. As I have entered into this journey of reading the bible I have been forced to look more deeply inside myself. Like the words I and me anything connected to the word 'self' makes me nervous as well. I feel like my ego is being exposed and I am trying to learn from this experience not to fall back in to the same bad habits that feed the wretched beast.
I don't know how I ended up back in Psalm 8 today but I was glad I did because it was like an unexpected present. Since the second day of this project I keep getting a glimpse of my terrible self. We all have one, a terrible self. We need to know this part of us so that we can face it and, with God's help, do something about it. These verses reminded me that while God wants us to see the areas of our lives that need improvement, He has already declared how valuable we are to Him and we can be set free from feelings of worthlessness. The application said, 'To respect God's majesty, we must compare ourselves to his greatness. When we look at creation, we often feel small by comparison. To feel small is a healthy way to get back to reality but God does not want us to dwell on our smallness. Humility means proper respect for God, not self-depreciation.'
I am a wannabe gardener and I have a compost pile, several actually. There are many levels to a compost pile. Dead plants, kitchen garbage and even some aged horse manure. Through the aging process this heap gets turned over and ever so gradually these layers of ick transform into this rich fertile garden soil. One day last spring, in the midst of egg shells and coffee grounds, blooming in my compost was a crocus in the richest shade of purple. This analogy gives me encouragement as I look into the layers of myself and realize that God thankfully can see something beyond my egg shells, coffee grounds and yes...... the manure.
What is a weed? A plant whose virtues haven't been discovered.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-
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