20/20 vision

Day 26 reading assignment:
Exodus 2:11-3:22
Matt: 17:10-27
Psalm 22:1-18
Proverbs 5:7-14

I'm a hypochondriac.  I'm not proud of it and in my defense I do draw from a gene pool muddied with diabetes, heart disease and stroke.  I am convinced almost on a daily basis that I am knock knock knockin on heaven's door.  It is a real fear, from my shortness of breath to my tingling fingers.  If the body is indeed a temple I'm afraid mine is the temple of doom.  This morning I was sitting in my car in the Starbuck's parking lot.  I was catching up on my reading before facing a long to-do list.  As I was reading I was aware of my worsening eyesight.  The words on the page were blurry no matter how I squinted to see them.  I felt a quickening in my chest that something had gone dreadfully wrong with my vision in the last twelve hours.  A noise outside my car caused me to turn to look out the window, I caught my reflection in the side view mirror and realized I was wearing my sunglasses instead of my 2.00 powered magnified reading glasses.  What a relief that despite my impending stroke/heart attack, I am not going blind as well.  But this story serves as my own analogy in my inability to see spiritually.

In Philip Yancey's book, "The Jesus I Never Knew" he talks about an analogy of Jesus by Karl Barth: "A man stands by a window gazing into the streets.  Outside, people are shading their eyes with their hands and looking up into the sky.  Because of the overhang of the building though, the man cannot see what it is they are pointing towards.  We who live 2000 years after Jesus have a viewpoint not unlike the man standing by the window.  We hear the shouts and exclamations.  We study the gestures and words in the Gospels and the many books they have spawned.  Yet no amount of neck-craning will allow us a glimpse of Jesus in the flesh"....he concludes with "sometimes those of us who look for Jesus cannot see past our own noses." 

In Matthew 17 Jesus seems like he is disgusted with the disciples and chastising them for their weak faith.  The application in my bible explains that Jesus' purpose was not to criticize them but to encourage them to greater faith.

I had a call this morning from my sister-in-law.  She is not a hypochondriac.  After two questionable mammograms this month and a procedure last week, her doctor called this morning to say that she needs to come in to the office tomorrow to talk about these latest results.  We all know that good news comes in the form of a form-letter stating that the results were all "within the normal limits".  Doctors do not call you in to tell you there is nothing to worry about.  This sister-in-law is my very dear friend and christian mentor and the most faithful prayer warrior I know.  She would laugh out loud at this description of her because she is also very humble.  After a fleeting bout with dizziness and nausea at the nurse's words she said to me, "It's not about this being cancer.  Whether it is or isn't, it's about how we get through the trial."  She is not crippled with fear but seeing it as a great inconvenience that may cause her to have to rescedule her trip to southern California in a few weeks.  No high drama just a request to "pray her through this."

In Matthew 17:20 Jesus says to the disciples: "You didn't have enough faith.  I assure you, even if you had faith as small as a mustard seed, nothing would be impossible.

When I left my sister-in-law's house today, I went to Safeway to buy Mustard seed.  Leaving the store I saw a poster with a big pink ribbon on it that said: The month of OCTOBER is breast cancer awareness month.  It's amazing how immediately one can become aware of breast cancer.

When I got home I opened my bottle of Mustard seed.  They are in fact smaller than a bee-bee.  I'm praying now for just that much faith.  Because with my glasses on, they are even bigger.